So here it is, finally! My first official blog! I’m sure my friends will forever be grateful that I have a place to talk!!
Here it is in a nutshell… my husband and I were married September 7, 2002 in a huge ceremony with all our friends and family…family included my 3 kids and his…well lets just say he had more than three. Anyone that tells you a blended family is a breeze is nuts. Lots of personalities, emotions, and belief systems. It was a long struggle, some good, some bad, some ugly! As the years moved forward children grew up, graduated from high school, went on the college, got married, had babies and so on…some even moved back home (temporarily of course)! Then one day it hit me like a ton of bricks… THE LAST ONE IS GRADUATING IN MAY!!! WOW! Now, I will be the first to admit that starting a marriage with kids is HARD and it probably would have been so much easier had we done it the “right” way but I don’t think our relationship was meant to be that way. My husband coming into my life when he did was a true gift from the Creator…don’t get me wrong he’s no angel… but he has been a wonderful provider, father, and husband.
Ok, back to MAY!! Harold (that’s my husband) has been in Juliet’s (that’s my youngest daughter) life since she was two so he is very much a father figure to her. The thought of her leaving was bittersweet for both of us. In the midst of all the senior activities time seemed to shift into overdrive! Before we knew it it was time for her to leave! Now the emotions I had when my oldest left for college were multiplied by 10! This was my baby! Oh boy DON’T CRY, DON’T CRY this was my mantra the whole day. I was comforted by the fact that most of her friends would be attending college with her and it’s only 40 minutes away BUT that covered her…what about me? I think you should know I am not the girl with tons of friends and an active social calendar, I’ve been a mother for 26 years and a wife for 12 I don’t have time for all of that! I have exactly 2 friends from childhood and have accumulated 2 more in adulthood. That’s it people! I have a total of 4 people that I would consider a friend. Juliet and I have spent a lot of time together over the past 19 years! She had become my shopping buddy, my biggest critic, my confidant, and my friend. I was loosing that and I didn’t know how to process it.
The day we dropped Juliet off at college was a Friday, I fought the desire to cry, kick, and scream! I guess having Jessica (my oldest daughter with me) helped a bit. We had to take two cars (she was in denial about the size of a dorm room), one with me and Jessica and one with my husband and his oldest son. After getting her settled in she was anxious to get into all the activities the college had planned for that weekend, which translates into “Bye Harold and Mom”! As we were leaving Lawrence I felt the sadness creeping up but Jessica and I talked all the way back and before I knew it I was home….now what? Harold and I just wandered around the house, we made small talk and eventually he went to bed and I stayed up thinking and watching tv. Then came Saturday …and so did the tears! My stepson called to see how I was doing and I was unable to speak, he said he saw the look in my eyes the day before and he knew it was coming! I cried so long and hard that I cried myself to sleep.
Days turned to weeks, weeks to months and I began to enjoy my time alone. It was kind of nice have the house to myself, no teenagers coming and going, no curfew arguments, no asking to borrow my car! I discovered that I could get up, go eat brunch, do a little shopping and not have to worry about a teenager with an attitude! There’s no homework to help with, no getting up extra early to make sure she’s off to school, no staying up late until she comes home safe. I could get used to this!
The best part of all of this has been the uninterrupted time that I have been able to spend with the love of my life! For the first time in our relationship it’s just the two of us in the house, we can spend lazy Saturday mornings together, we can have dinner at cafe’s and restaurants as late as we want, we can even jump in the car and take a road trip! Maybe this isn’t going to be so bad after all…that is until Jessica called and asked if we would be willing to watch Riley (my 4 year old grandson) while she worked nights! How can we say no? Well I guess easily but I remember being a single mom and needing help so of course we said yes.
Well it was fun while it lasted, we still have our weekends but Mon-Thur. we have a 4 year old “sleeping over”… and then there were THREE!
Here we are at a New Year’s Eve party! Our adventure is just beginning and we can’t wait to see what this new chapter brings our way! Here we go……